So I see some of the young lady stumblers are still around, posting great stumbles, sharing witty banter, offering fun tidbits…
and still hurting from problems of unrequited and/or hurtful relationships. I’ve only shared light banter with some of these pretty stumblers , even if sometimes they’re obviously sent to carry messages or requests of sorts to usmjam from a third party. The third party prolly figures a pretty face may get more results? I don’t know, nor really care.
What I do care about is that you, pretty lady, are so unhappy. You’re intelligence and otherwise great personality is not appreciated by your love interest in the way you’d like, and that hurts deeply. There are few things that hurt so much, and they are all due to personal feelings: the loss of or serious injury a loved one, the betrayal of one’s trust, things like that hurt. Unrequited or underappreciated love is right up there in the hurt-o-meter.
You don’t chat with my type as much because, among other things, we are poles apart in our beliefs on life, politics, but mainly in our beliefs (or non-belief) in God. But know what? That very belief or unbelief in something much greater than us is everything. Everything else in life hinges on our relationship with our gods.
In the view I subscribe to, we must lose self in order to find love. We must get to understand & love God with our whole heart, life, and soul. Our focus should be totally centered on God, who is holy, pure, all powerful and loving. When we are thus centered on God, we lose self. When we lose self, we lose that appetite that hungers for others to fulfill us. Instead, we seek to do good for others, unrequited as it often is. Losing self gives us the freedom to accept that all our worldly good qualities may just go unappreciated by many, but that if so, its still alright. Our primary focus is to love God, because He loved us first.
So what of our happiness? It comes to us by first loving God. All those personal relationships and other things that make us happy in this world get added onto us. Even then, the imperfection of this world, of fellow humans, and of ourselves will still bring bumps and even big problems in any relationship. But now we know that since only God is perfect that we can forgive, that we can live with each other’s imperfections, and that even the loss of a loved one or of a relationship is not the end-all of our being. We are here for such a short time in comparison to eternity. All things in this world will pass, but our eternal relationship, or lack of one, with God will be forever.
It sounds trite and even uncaring to say. But in order for one to find self fulfillment and true love one needs to lose self. In other words, get over yourself and live for something greater. Otherwise you have made a god of yourself or of your feelings or of your hunger for fulfillment. You find yourself always seeking, hoping, wanting, but never achieving true happiness. That hurts, and I wish you could be spared that pain, but its a self perpetuating cycle. Like that green light in the Great Gatsby, it eludes us all. We try harder and harder, yet never can achieve attainment if we have the wrong focus. “It eluded us then, but that’s no matter- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms out farther….“. I
I wish you well, and hope that your occasional visits to my SU page are not now spoiled by this message. Heh, it was written for someone else anyway, right?:-) But I do hope you find God without you bringing preconceived expectations such as we often bring to all relationships. Eventually you find someone who shares your likes, especially a love of God. By moving closer and closer to the same God, you both naturally move closer to each other. In that way you will find contentment and true joy that surpasses all understanding. May you find happiness.